Simplify Your Summer

I had never considered becoming a teacher. In fact, when God called me to it, I hesitated only because it was not an occupation I had ever wanted to do. I was working as a Child Protective Services worker and I loved my job. I embraced my purpose. However, I knew that CPS was not a job I wanted when it came time to have my own children. I prayed about this decision and God opened the door for me to go back to school and become a teacher.

That was 8 years ago and the answer to the why is still unknown to me, but I cannot deny the way God has woven the events leading up to the change in my career. I had never had summer breaks, or any breaks for that matter. I have always worked. When I began teaching, I had such an appreciation for the time that I was allotted to recharge between June and August.

Photo by Nubia Navarro (nubikini) on Pexels.com

The past 5 years have been filled with wonderful, memorable summers with my children. I count myself very fortunate to be able to spend that time with them. My heart desperately longs to be a stay at home mom with them while they are little, but alas, God has designated my life for dual purposes. Because of this, I take full advantage of the time that I do get with my kids; I know that it is more than what most mothers get.

In the beginning, I used to think I had to fill every day of summer break with something. I had to contend with others’ highlight reels on social media. Silly me. My break made me almost as tired as when I was at work. Something had to change. When we added our son to our family, the game plan had to change out of necessity. It was me juggling two tiny humans. Children thrive on routine, as do I, and it was important to me that my kids remember their mother as one who had fun with them, but it was also important that they did not see me exhaust myself in the process. My children needed to see me taking advantage of rest as well. After all, God designed us for rest just as he did productivity.

I settled on a simple plan to ensure that our summers were not only memorable, but restful.

The Plan

At the beginning of summer, I take a piece of construction paper and a marker and create a basic grid that allots for each day of the month. Basically, I make a calendar. We have a family calendar but this one is much more kid friendly. I then include activities, but also designate specific days of rest at home.

A typical week includes one trip to the community spray park, a local outing, and a day of at home doing some type of activity (usually a craft or baking). We also try to include a weekly trip to the library. All other days are open but generally spent at home just enjoying family time.

Our family lives in a very rural area and most activities force us to drive 30-40 minutes. All the more reason to plan. We also attempt to schedule a short family vacation at some point during the summer.

My 5 year old loves the calendar because she gets to mark each day off as we come to it. I put in simple illustrations to help her recognize what activities are on what days. I also ask for her input. She enjoys being able to contribute to our family plan.

I know that some of you are rolling your eyes at my Type A personality. It may seem rigid but as with everything, we remain flexible. It may rain on the day of the spray park so we swap it with one of our “home” days. If nothing else, this serves as a great teaching opportunity and allows for your little and big kids to get involved. It shows them that family, rest, and time together matter. Life can get too busy very quickly. This allows us to be intentional with slowing down and savoring our summer.

Is love to hear how you handle the summers with your kiddos!

Find Your Fresh Start

Fresh starts seem to contain a type of magic that encourages, empowers, and frees us from our yesterdays. They reassure us that the past is the past and that we can move forward without regret. God encourages fresh starts.
Great is His faithfulness; His mercies begin afresh each morning. Lamentations 3:23 NLT

This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun! 2 Corinthians 5:17 NLT

 

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We recently moved into a new house. In my mind, this was an opportunity for a fresh start. Our first home, which we moved into in 2008, was filled with hand-me downs and, while it had good bones, it needed a lot of major updates. As a newlywed couple, we were grateful and made do. While turning that house into a home, we realized that we both had the dream to build. I know this may seem shallow to many, but for reasons that I will not divulge, I was never able to feel settled or content in that house. Just know that it went far beyond tangible things.

Almost 10 years later, our dream has become our reality. I finally have a sense of feeling settled. We are home.

As we look forward to the memories to come, I find myself trying to also be in the current moments, soaking in the newness. This fresh start is a culmination of hard work, prayer, encouragement, and the Lord’s provision. I think about how God worked everything to our good. The timing was not mine, but now I cannot imagine it having happened any other way.

Likewise, there have been so many periods in my life that I can see God wiping away the ashes and bringing forth beauty. I have seen His forgiveness in the midst of my guilt and shame. I have sensed His undeniable presence in the darkness of grief and pain. He loves me as I am, but He does not want me to remain as He has found me. He wants so much more for me—for all of us.
Do you find yourself acknowledging a stirring within your soul? Are you longing for a fresh start? What weighs you down? What clouds your view? God stands beside you, willing to take your hand to take the first steps towards newness. Maybe you have been a Christian for years and have fallen into habits or circumstances that hinder your testimony. Maybe you walk around with lukewarm faith and need rejuvenation. You may have let your health or relationships fall to the wayside. No matter your current circumstances, you too can have a fresh start. You can move forward and it need not be alone.

Join me on the journey. I am acutely aware of areas in my life that desperately need renewal. I’ve grown so weary in certain aspects of my life and I long for change. Often times this change has to begin from the inside out. Combating our emotions and dark mental spaces are often our biggest challenges. Do not let this detour you.
…let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God-truly righteous and holy. Ephesians 4:23-24
This past week I saw a church sign that said, “No one is too lost to be found.” The war that sin wages on our souls is exhausting. We disappoint others and ourselves. It is not uncommon to find ourselves lost in a sea of turbulent waters that we can barely tread. Consider God your lifeline. Allow him to pull you out, dry you off, and help you walk anew on solid land. The road to renewal is often hard and paved with distractions, but the effort will be worth it. I want to encourage you to identify areas where you could use some renewing. Open up to a trusted friend for accountability and support. Lean into your spouse for encouragement. Above all, ask God for transformation and live expectantly. He will help you find your way.
Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert. Isaiah 43:19 ESV

As featured on Joyful Life Magazine

I love to write. I always have. It has always been the best way for me to express myself. I am so excited to share with you a special opportunity I was granted. I have a special post featured on Joyful Life Magazine’s blog.

PC📷: @joyfullifemagazine

They shared my piece on experiencing infertility. It is my hope that God will lead those readers who need the message of hope most to the post. If you or someone you know is walking through infertility, please feel free to share. My heart longs to connect other women to the hope I have come to know through my struggles. You can check out my post at https://joyfullifemagazine.com/empty-arms-on-mothers-day/

Thanks for reading!

After the Storm

Storm Warning

Three weeks ago this Sunday will mark a memorable event for our small community. I remember it like yesterday. I had come in from being outside with my little ones. I had taken the opportunity to take some pictures of my daughter who would soon be turning 5. The skies were overcast and wind had been picking up. This was all pretty typical for Spring here in Central Virginia.

I began preparing dinner and noticed that I was getting multiple weather announcements on my phone. They began indicating a severe weather watch. This eventually turned into a tornado watch. I was not worried. How many times had we been through this? The Spring weather is full of mischief, but rarely is it worth fretting over. Around 7:00p.m. I was preparing the kids for bed. It was the time of night when pajamas are put on, teeth are brushed, and we settle in with a movie or story before snuggling under the covers.

The lights began to flicker and my phone started reporting multiple weather warnings. Our satellite had gone out making our local weather station visibly unobtainable so I turned on our radio. I immediately heard the meteorologists repeatedly stating that our area was under a tornado warning. They were giving minute by minute updates. They reported that a tornado had touched down about 25 minutes south of where we live and that it was heading towards our county. Instead of putting the kids to bed, I made sure they had on appropriate pajamas and I moved necessary items, such as blankets, my daughter’s mattress, and the radio into our tiny half bath.

My husband, who was at work, called to check on us. I assured him that we were okay and as prepared as we could be. Not long after our phone call, reports came in that a tornado was possibly spotted near Elon. Elon is the precious community in which I teach. I have loved on these families and their children for the last 9 years. My stomach began to sink.

Around 7:30p.m. we were getting reports that a tornado had in fact touched down in the area. I immediately started contacting those that I could. By the next morning, approximately 25 homes were damaged or completely lost. The pictures of the devastation were overwhelming.

Miraculously, not a single life was lost.

God has used this natural disaster to remind not just myself, but many others, of some important life lessons. It has served as a vivid reminder of what is important. I had the opportunity to go out and help with disaster relief. How could I not? These are my people. They are my families.

After the Storm

Those of us wanting to immediately volunteer had been told to stay home on Monday. Power lines were down and there was limited access. Immediate safety concerns prohibited anyone but emergency personnel to respond. On Tuesday, a few of my coworkers and I gathered together to assist our community.

The scene was very emotional. Homes had been swept away from their foundations. One of our student’s homes had been flattened like an aluminum can. The damage was heartbreaking.

We assisted in salvaging anything we could. Something as simple as a cooking pot gave hope for a new life. Pictures and other memorable keepsakes were high on the lists of what people wanted to secure. We did what we could.

It was a long day that I will not soon forget.

Life Now

Every morning I go to work, I pass by the area impacted by the tornado and every day I am reminded of what was the overall attitude of almost everyone we worked with: it could always be worse. These families, working in survival mode, still not having had time to process the actual events, had the same overall story to share. They were safe. No lives were lost. Everything set before them was merely material and could be replaced.

I carry those reminders with me. There are always moments when we feel so broken and at odds with how things are. We have no control over the circumstances and it is easy to compare our worst moments with the best of others. My circumstances could always be worse. We do not have to look far to know that is true.

But what do we do with that?

Human nature would have us focus on ourselves and work through our woes. However, I have found that if we reach out to others, if we serve others in the midst of our difficulties, God does an amazing and often unexpected work in our situations. He is glorified and in turn blesses us for our faithfulness. If Christ gave up when things were hard, our salvation and eternal destinies would look so differently.

I know our difficulties present themselves in different ways and vary in intensity. It is important to remember that although our circumstances change, our God does not. He is the same as he was yesterday, as he is today and as he will be tomorrow. This foundational truth hit home as I assisted those who had just lost everything. Their material possessions may be miles away and never recovered, but the God that protected them that night remains steadfast in his position.

It is my hope that just as I cling to this truth for comfort, you will be able to do the same in your storm.

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever.

Psalm 136:1

5 Ways to Make Space for the Unexpected

Even the most balanced, well prepared person cannot account for everything that will happen day to day. We do our best. As women, we’re designed to conquer the challenges of daily life. It is engrained in us, whether at work or home, often both, and we rise to the occasion. Some embrace the challenges of unexpected circumstances as exciting opportunities to show what we are made of while others rock quietly in a corner trying to figure out the next move. We have been accused of running ourselves ragged. We have been asked how we can do it all. If you’re like me, I have been all of those women and now, I want to share with you some things I have learned that have helped me make it through those unexpected times.

I am Type A by nature. I thrive on order and routine. Structure and I are close pals. Almost daily, my arch nemeses, Disorder and Chaos, like to make a visit or two. I do not welcome them. You would think they would get the hint and go pick on someone else. Oh, isn’t that just like Satan. He is all about coming in and trying to steal our joy. He gets a kick out of making us question our purpose and abilities. He has mastered how to use “fight or flight” against us. The unexpected moments we encounter can be big or small. Satan would have us forget that God is bigger than them all.

I hope you’ll find encouragement in the following tidbits that I am going to share. I’ve been there and if I am being real, I still am. Everyday brings new, unexpected challenges, but we are not alone in the disruption. Here are 5 ways to design spaces of grace in your life for when the unexpected arises.

Simplify

1. We live in a culture that often glorifies busy. Every weekend on the calendar is filled and every weeknight is crammed full of obligations. We begin on Monday and have no idea how we get to Sunday night. Everything is a blur. If we’re honest in these moments, we generally feel like we are running on fumes. We feel like we are always letting someone down or unable to give ourselves fully to every commitment we’ve made. God did not design us to run ourselves into the ground. If we take a closer look at our calendars, we often find that we are saying “yes” to things we would have rather said “no” to, but for the sake of hurting feelings or letting someone down, we agree. Sometimes we fill our calendars for the “memory making”. If I do this and this with my kids, they’ll remember all the effort that I put into making their childhoods awesome.

I can guarantee that your kids will not remember everything you do as a family. Would you rather your children remember a tired mother dragging them from one “memory making moment” to the next or would you have them remember a mother who was full of life and could not only enjoy the big things, but the little things as well? I can also say with rather high certainty that most people you end up choosing to say “no” to will respect your decision and move on. My first tip is to start adding some white space to your calendar.

White space is one way to leave a little grace space for when unexpected things come up. For instance, this week was Spring Break. We intentionally chose to plan one day trip as a family. We knew we had two softball practices for the week and a doctor’s appointment one morning. We left the remaining dates and times open. On Wednesday, when the need arose to speak with our home loan officer, we had the time and space on our calendar to make the trip to his office. Had we crammed a ton of plans into those spaces, we would find ourselves juggling around schedules and stressing over how to make everything work. I personally choose to do the same on any given work week. I put down what I know we have and then often choose not to add more obligations so that we have some breathing room.

2. Besides adding white space, it is important to simplify schedules and routines as much as possible. As the wife of a firefighter, I am often left to handle day to day things on my own. I am in charge of all preparation, transportation, etc. When you combine that with my own full time job responsibilities, it can become a frantic mess if I let it.

I used to think I had to do it all on my own. Until recently, I was constantly wallowing in guilt for not being able to put my heart into everything I was responsible for. I realized that I was not meant to do this job alone. A lot of cultures continue to thrive, not because of self reliance, but because they do the opposite. They rely on one another. I had to put down my defenses and allow others to help me. I now coordinate with family and friends to accomplish things that would otherwise put me in impossible positions. For instance, when I need to be in two places at once, I call on a friend or family member to see if he or she would be willing to fill in until I could get from one place to the next.

I realize not everyone has the same type of support system. However, you may have more than you think. Look at those who have offered their assistance in the past but you never took them up on it. Do you not have anyone because you’ve cut everyone off or have not pursued inclusion? Seek out a local mom group or a women’s group at church.  Make connections and as you develop trusting relationships, you’ll find a mutual form of dependence and assistance that can help lighten the load you try to independently carry.

Embrace

3. As a person who thrives on order, I find embracing anything out of routine a little difficult. However, I have also discovered that by embracing these unexpected moments when they come, I can more easily seek resolve. I realize that there are some things that happen in our lives that are just huge. These things are often painful and end up becoming life altering. These unexpected moments may take a little longer to embrace, but it can be done.

In 2016 I was in a very traumatic car accident. Even now I struggle to embrace the results of what happened. While I cannot fully wrap my brain around the outcomes, I have embraced the fact that even something so terrible passed through God’s hands before it came to me. God allowed the accident to occur for divine purposes that are beyond my ability to comprehend. I have, however, seen a beautiful ripple effect from some of the things that transpired afterwards. Embracing tragic and difficult circumstances does not mean that we forget or immediately heal. It means that we accept that something has happened and we lean into the process that will allow us to mend. This can be anything from an unexpected death to divorce to financial pitfalls. I have found that it is often the most difficult things to embrace that are the things that form us in the most amazing ways.

4. It is equally important to embrace the ‘now’. Soak up the moment you are in. Find reasons for gratitude. Take into account my accident. Despite the gut wrenching scene before me, I was alive. When people came up to me and my son, looking at us and then at our vehicle, they could not believe we were not more injured than what we were. God had saved us for a purpose. I could not process what was going on in front of me, but I was so thankful to be alive.

Create.

5. Create a space that is yours alone. That may mean locking yourself in your bathroom or sitting in your car without anyone else, but make the space yours. That does not mean you have to put up any special décor or play soothing music. That does not mean it has to be a neat and organized work space. It simply means having a space in time that is just for you. For me, that often looks like the 5 minutes I sit in the car before going into work or into the preschool to get my kids. I sit in silence. I breathe in and breathe out, allowing my heart rate to calm and focus on the moment at hand. I may sing a song of worship. I may pray. I may organize a list of things to do in my head. For me, those moments help prepare me for what may come next.

I cannot plan for what attitudes my students will bring in with them each morning. I can assume, but one burnt waffle can make for a day of negative comments and poor peer interactions. Trust me, waffles can be very important to a first grader. By having my head and heart right before going into work or picking up my kids, I have mentally created a space for anything unexpected that may occur. I may walk into the preschool to find out that my son bit another student (which has not happened, praise God) or that my daughter did not get along with her “best friend of the day”. However, because I took the time to create some mental space, I can deal with these circumstances without coming unglued.

I know you may be thinking that some of these things are not practical for you in your season of life right now. You may be right. However, the point is not to follow any given formula or how-to. The point is that by simplifying, embracing, and creating specific habits and spaces in our lives, we can be better prepared for the challenges that come our way. It is not a perfect science, but you can make it work for you. Just think of what your life would look like when the unexpected happened if you took time to prepare for it in these ways now?